- Focus on (learning), over achieving
So what do I embrace that felt threatening?
I think the perfect place to start was where I had done an assignment back in college, an assignment that was the direct definition of three babies crying. Where it gets harder to decipher which one needs you more, be it the punctuations, the research or how you structured your findings in paragraphs – how to start your conclusion.
It was a challenge that I accepted, sure I wanted to stuff it in her bag and tell her that she should do it because I am tired, I didn’t get much sleep lastni… but instead, it was rather exciting for me.
From memory, I had to do this assignment three times.
But when she said ‘third time is a charm’ however cliché or overexposed this phrase was, it lit a candle in me. Yes, it made me stop just before I turn the corner, I might have smiled to myself.
I was, in the very crevice of the fact… unstoppable.
Even at some point later on, hell opened up and swallowed me. Possessed me with demons that knew my worth when I took a break from being too sure of it, the candle was still lit, and the only thing that could blow it out – was if those words were never said.
So what did I get on the assignment?
2. (I) can change my mindset
Mindsets are an important part of your personality, but you can change them. Just by knowing about the two mindsets, you can start thinking and reacting in new ways.10 Big Ideas from Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (sourcesofinsight.com)
When I was in the fixed mindset, I thought that there were things that were possible and things that were impossible. The problem was, I wasn’t trying to make a distinction between the example of: water being impossible to settle on a net without seeping through, and the possibility of being able to shake someone’s hand.
I was thinking about how impossible it was for me to be decent enough at anything, and how possible it was for everyone else to be great at everything that I was awful at.
When I entered into the growth mindset, I realized that the only way that I wasn’t going to be able to get somewhere is if I were dead. I realized that this was what logic looked like and logic was better fun than a bottomless prediction.
3. (You) can put yourself in a Growth Mindset
An ability can be learnt, the task will allow you to do that
We are not always in that fixed mindset, we can slip quite easily out of it. We can read something like this blog, hear and also feel the tone. Develop the persons lisp, their twang and their bliss, and then capture their growth mindset and make it into your own.
But then when the phone is off, when the laptop is shut down and it disappears, were you holding it tight enough?
The ability is to possess the growth mindset, and the task is to read this blog to apply it to your life without needing to constantly come back to it after the first fifteen times.
You have made the decision to apply it.
You choose to continue to apply it.
4. Growth mindset: allows you to love what you are doing
With a fixed mindset, you love the score. With the growth mindset, you love the process and the growth.
I really wanted to run out of the class and tell everybody that I will see them… never. But the reality of what happened, was that I stayed. I dared to challenge the voices in my head and I was curious to see if that would change anything, and even if it only jumbled their words to make them that much more irritating – at least it disrupted something.
I still had something to play with, I just needed to switch the screws a few more times, and that is okay.
5. The growth mindset makes it worth it regardless of the outcome
the journey is the reward, even when things don’t go as planned.
Writing makes me happy.
Healing you through the words that pushes through my fingertips, makes me happy.
The adjudgments I need to make to my surroundings, in order to sit and type these up, makes me happy.
Every upcoming author wishes that they could sit, write a book on a screen and have everybody falling all over it as soon as it is written.
But the wait is amazing, there are less demands. It means I have more time to love on my fiancé, and I have more time to learn some new things about spirituality; my tarot cards, as a beginner in the reading of the tarot department.
Not to mention reading other peoples books and reviewing it.
6. See your relationships from a growth mindset
Problems can be a vehicle for developing greater understanding and intimacy. Allow your partner to air his or her differences, listen carefully and discuss them in a patient and caring manner. You may be surprised at the closeness this creates.
I was on the verge of being upset with him for not being the version of himself that he was the day before. But I realized that he needed me, he needed me to be a specific version of myself.
I could hear him. (he was quiet)
Although I couldn’t quite feel him, I could hear him.
It was so loud, it was intense.
The good kind, and it humbled me.
I wanted to hear him.
So it humbled me and made me enter into the version of myself that was best for the situation that was unfolding.
He needed me to be gentle, calm and understanding.
Not scared uncertain and double minded.
7. Artistic abilities can be developed far greater than what you’re born with
The voice: sign up for this class
Me: You mean-
The voice: Yep.
The voice: Do you have an option?
When the exam started, I was dying, literally. Everything was so quite and all I could hear was how much I was NOT doing.
I signed up for art textiles.
Everybody’s feet seemed to know where to take them – mine – well I was still seated.
Sitting is art right? I mean you cross your legs and then… no?
Okay, moving along.
I was so scared of being one of those students that didn’t come close to impressing my art teacher, but she was impressed with the embordered work I did.
Was it because I thought to myself, ‘if I don’t needle anything thing else, I am going to needle you?’
But where is it you ask?
Well, I have no idea.
I have drawn some stuff since my time in secondary, and I’ve also crocheted.
I say this to say… there is nothing that you can’t do. There is nothing that I can’t do. And the only way we won’t be able to do something, is by refusing not to do it all.
WE ALL HAVE INTEREST THAT CAN BLOSSOM INTO ABILITIES.
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